I want to keep a record....
Day -1 Sunday February 16 - Cluster of "seizures" on trail head. Rush to the Per ER. He was wheeled in on a cart. Medicine was given to relax him. They ran some blood and urine tests. Seizures, he said. We visited the vet for the next week looking for causes. Most suggestions were out of my price range. We did a few tests, which were inconclusive.. He never returned to "Jake" after this day.
Photo from Day -1 resting on Maddie for moral support.
Day 0 - March 3rd.. Jake seemed extra depressed. I thought, "I'd be too if no exercise for two weeks!" So, I took him to Sugarhouse Park to walk. He was extremely uncomfortable and looked bloated. He looked like a tootsie roll! He also had no stamina. His gait was off. We pushed one round and then went home. I proceeded to feed him. He threw it all up in half an hour. He stayed away from his pack... He kept hiding. Eventually, he came into room. However, he tossed and turned all night.. Uncomfortable all night. We both were....
DDay -March 4th - I made a decision to take Jake to vet. Something wasn't right. I wrestled with decision, thinking I was being paranoid. We were rushed in to see good ol' Dr P. He agreed there was something definitely wrong. Keeping financial constraints in our minds, we made a plan of discovery. We ordered additional blood work and an ultrasound.
Around 10:30, I got the call. Jake has Hemangiosarcoma. He has a few tumors on his spleen, one being large. He has a few on his liver. There is blood in his abdominal cavity. One tumor must have ruptured.
I bolt out of work. A dear friend meets me at the Clinic. We begin the in dept conversation about Jake with the Vet. There aren't a lot of options. " He is dying" is what I remember. "quality of life" decision is another. I move from a range of emotions and feelings. I vacillated between shock, OMG and denial.
Jake on DDay
I plan to stop at Grammy and Grampys. As we make our way down 7th East, Jake comes to life. He sits on counsel and his mouth smiles. We pull into driveway and he jumps ever so enthusiastically out the E. He is home.... Jake returns to Jake at their house. The love they give him and he in turn. I leave him there as I run to store to buy bland food for my heart dog. We leave and go home. Dogs are fed. I bath with Jake and Zoe lying in the bathroom keeping a close eye on me. Zoe, keeping a close eye on her brother. We all fall asleep, with Zoe sleeping on the bed with Jake and I. This is a rare event. One must wonder if Zoe is in tune with what is happening.
..
I want to chronicle our last footsteps on this most amazing journey. I need a place to put my memories as they come up, a safe place to express my emotions, and my feelings.
We became avid hikers this past year. I am glad I constantly took photos of my dogs.. *dog selfies*
Here are a few shots from a few recent hikes.
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
